Thanks but No Thanks

Well, well, well, that was quick! 

Basically, I didn’t dare calling him, partly because his number wasn’t registered...and I didn’t know what to call him or how to introduce myself. I think he muttered his first name when we met but I didn’t quite get it. Embarrassing, I know. Anyway, I just decided to send him a message and say I too wanted to see him again. I would however be really busy this week but since I had plans to go out on Saturday night, maybe we could meet up then? He liked that plan. 

So, last night we were chatting online and discussing our Saturday night plans. While I was talking to him, I decided to check my fake ad on the dating site, just for fun. Maybe also, just to be sure that he hadn’t messaged ‘her’, even though I was confident he wouldn’t be the type, not such a reserved, shy guy. So I logged in and browsed through the new messages in ‘her’ inbox, about 80 of them this time. They were from nicks such as ‘Sex_Now’, ‘Sexstarved’ and ‘STALLION’. It was pretty obvious why those guys had signed up. My guy certainly wasn’t there for that. Or was he?

And sure enough, there, way down in the queue was his nick, no doubt about it. I had a closer look at the date; he had sent ‘her’ a message a few days before. In fact, he had sent it the SAME DAY he met up with me at the café! I opened the message and looked even closer. He had sent ‘her’, a woman looking for casual sex, a message only FOUR HOURS after we’d said goodbye. 

Right, on Friday night he had logged in and offered a total stranger his ‘service’, probably inspired by our conversation about how easy it would be to find sexual partners there! I'm a genius.

I didn’t really have to think twice. Am I interested in a man who seeks casual sex on the Internet? No. Does it look like I made a great impression on him if he was looking for casual sex only four hours later? No. Do I want to work that hard at trying to make someone like me enough so that he'll stop browsing for sex on the Internet? No. Is it likely this was the only time he’s ever replied to a sex ad on the Internet? Not really. 

So, I blocked him from the chat and sent him a short message saying I wasn’t interested in getting to know him any further. And that I didn’t mean to judge him but personally, I wasn’t interested in men who replied to sex ads on this site. That’s just how I feel. I think it says a lot about a man’s personality and frankly, I like slightly different types of personalities.

He replied, pretending to not know what I was on about. Then tried to make it sound as if I was a lunatic; running a number of personal ads on the website and getting crazy jealous because he corresponded with other women there after meeting me. ‘Well, excuse me but I didn’t realize we were being exclusive after meeting up for one cup of coffee!’ 

I didn’t answer. I just blocked him and went to the cinema with my good friend Sophie. We bad-mouthed men quite a bit and decided to go out tomorrow night with a few other girls.

I don’t really need time to get over this one so I’ll definitely keep my eyes open, you never know! And then I’m going to reply to some other guys on look4soulmate.com – I’m not going to give up just because a handful fuckwits get in the way!

A Good Man Coming My Way?

Well, I finally met up with him. We were both so busy that we couldn’t squeeze in a rendez-vous until Friday.

We decided to meet in a cafe, straight after work. I asked him to respect one rule; that we wouldn’t give our full names or contact info. That way, we could see each other, chat and be relaxed about it without having to decide there and then whether we’d want to meet again, or feel obliged to give out our phone number if we didn’t really want to. Afterwards we could each go home and send a message via the dating site, if we’d want to see each other again and then exchange phone numbers etc. He found this arrangement excellent and I was relieved he didn’t take me for a paranoid drama queen. He understood that safety comes first, he's in the police force after all.

Well, I paraded into the café on Friday, a little late but it wasn’t deliberate, was just held up by work. There, patiently awaiting me was a not-so-terribly-looking man, average height, with dark blond hair and I’m guessing grey-blue eyes. Not slim but not chubby either. Rather ordinary looking actually and to be honest, and shallow, I probably wouldn’t have paid him any attention had I just passed him in the street. He looked very kind, though. We talked. I probably talked more than he did, he seemed more reserved than I anyways. But it didn’t look as though I was boring him to death with my blabbering.

We had indeed a lot to talk about and have some things in common. We also talked a little about our mutual experience with this dating site. He said he had once before met up with a woman he’d corresponded with on the site but nothing had come out of it. I started telling him about all the pervy messages I’d received, how women get showered with them as soon as they register, and all the naughty offers we get. I didn’t tell him about my fake ad, though, I don’t want him to think I’m some sort of a nutter. Not yet anyway!

He seemed quite surprised that people would behave like that and seemed astonished at how easy it is for people to find sexual partners via the Internet. I explained to him that from what I’d seen, anyone in need of casual sex can find it within an hour on this site. And I’m not talking about paid sex even. He was amazed and I was pleased. He certainly didn’t seem like the type who’d look for casual sex, not anywhere. After all, he appeared to be a rather reserved and quiet type, probably a good specimen there.

Still, I have to admit, I didn’t sense any sparks flying between us and couldn’t feel anything stir within me. But, in the past I’ve always acted upon some fireworks exploding right at the beginning when I meet someone…and it’s never ended well. So how about taking things more easy now and perhaps get it right? So I decided to be open to the possibility that this here might be a good, honest, interesting gem who maybe could make me feel better than any of the men I’ve been with thus far. So what if he doesn’t look like a movie star or isn’t a smooth talking charmer?
Obviously, I didn’t know what he thought of me but noticed the way he was looking at me, measuring and weighing me, as we talked. He was clearly making a judgement as well, but I couldn’t tell whether he liked what he saw or not. And it made me a little nervous.

We had talked about spending roughly an hour together at the café and so when the time was up, we got up and parted outside the café. With a handshake, as the atmosphere definitely didn’t offer anything more intimate. Although, he did give me a big smile and a wink before turning around and crossing the street. I thought that was a good sign.
So, I went home to contemplate whether I was attracted to him at all or what. But I just wasn’t sure. Felt as though I should at least meet him again, in different circumstances, where we could be more relaxed. Or, at least where he could be relaxed enough to kiss me!

Was so busy this weekend that I didn’t check my messages until now. And there it was, a message from him since yesterday. He says he would love to see me again, and enclosed his phone number!!!