Am I not right in thinking that the idiom "To put something on ice" means a temporary halt?
In any case, I thought that despite Henry putting us on ice, we could still remain in touch. So I kept him as a Facebook friend and even sent him a couple of messages, as a friend, pondering about something rather trivial, as you do with your friends.
No reply. Not even a "Thank you" when I sent him a link to something regarding one of many topics we discussed passionately.
Did this mean he didn't want any contact at all until in two or three months? Would we then simply pick up where we left off?
At first, after eating a bit of chocolate, I hadn't felt too bad about this ice-situation, thinking that 2-3 months would pass quickly because I was indeed very busy, and then we'd finally have the time to get to know each other better. And, he would be even further into his journey of being sober, probably not as preoccupied with AA meetings and that sort of stuff anymore.
But Henry's complete silence made me uncomfortable.
So now I'm tossing and turning, trying to figure out what he actually meant. I should have asked!
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
The Iceman
That's it, I just don't get it. Any of it.
There was no doubt in my mind after our second meet-up that there was chemistry between me and Henry, and that it was mutual. We sent playful texts to each other and even though I was the impatient one, he kept responding and saying hopefully he'd find the time soon for us to be together. And I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking about having more coffee together.
But again, he was terribly busy, and then there were the AA meetings and his work for those, all the reading and then the weekly CoDA meetings.
I was patient, I thought he was definitely worth the wait. But then I received an alarming message from him; he needed some space because he'd had a health scare and needed more testing, it was something to do with his lungs, and since he's a smoker, I got genuinely concerned for him. Never mind whether anything had or would happen between us, he'd need support if the test results came out bad and since I was involved in volunteer work for young people who have been diagnosed with cancer, I'm very knowledgeable in this field. So I just sent him one more text, telling him I'd like to be kept posted and he shouldn't hesitate to contact me if he needed anything.
About a week later, he texted me a smiley face and said the tests had come out fine, he was OK, nothing to worry about. Thrilled by these wonderful news, I rang him as I wandered around the grocery shop trying to figure out what to have for dinner. He sounded really relieved so I understood how heavy this had been on him, so I suggested we'd meet up soon to celebrate, not his evening, but just soon.
That's when his voice changed and the all too familiar we-need-to-talk-tone popped up in his voice. He said he just didn't think this was a great time for him, it appeared he'd be really busy for the next 2-3 months, at weekends too. "I think it's best if we put this on ice."
Funny enough, I was just standing by the frozen seafood, looking down on packets of fish fingers and fish burgers. I only managed to stutter "Yes, of course, I'm quite busy too so I guess it's just really bad timing," to which he agreed.
So we left it there, with a hint of "Let's wait and see" in the air as we finished the conversation and I quickly decided to go for frozen pizza. And chocolate for dessert.
There was no doubt in my mind after our second meet-up that there was chemistry between me and Henry, and that it was mutual. We sent playful texts to each other and even though I was the impatient one, he kept responding and saying hopefully he'd find the time soon for us to be together. And I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking about having more coffee together.
But again, he was terribly busy, and then there were the AA meetings and his work for those, all the reading and then the weekly CoDA meetings.
I was patient, I thought he was definitely worth the wait. But then I received an alarming message from him; he needed some space because he'd had a health scare and needed more testing, it was something to do with his lungs, and since he's a smoker, I got genuinely concerned for him. Never mind whether anything had or would happen between us, he'd need support if the test results came out bad and since I was involved in volunteer work for young people who have been diagnosed with cancer, I'm very knowledgeable in this field. So I just sent him one more text, telling him I'd like to be kept posted and he shouldn't hesitate to contact me if he needed anything.
About a week later, he texted me a smiley face and said the tests had come out fine, he was OK, nothing to worry about. Thrilled by these wonderful news, I rang him as I wandered around the grocery shop trying to figure out what to have for dinner. He sounded really relieved so I understood how heavy this had been on him, so I suggested we'd meet up soon to celebrate, not his evening, but just soon.
That's when his voice changed and the all too familiar we-need-to-talk-tone popped up in his voice. He said he just didn't think this was a great time for him, it appeared he'd be really busy for the next 2-3 months, at weekends too. "I think it's best if we put this on ice."
Funny enough, I was just standing by the frozen seafood, looking down on packets of fish fingers and fish burgers. I only managed to stutter "Yes, of course, I'm quite busy too so I guess it's just really bad timing," to which he agreed.
So we left it there, with a hint of "Let's wait and see" in the air as we finished the conversation and I quickly decided to go for frozen pizza. And chocolate for dessert.
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