I hope you don’t think I’ve met Mr Wonderful and been busy canoodling instead of blogging. Far from it.
But what with the Christmas season I’ve been going out on the town a little bit more than usual. Although I haven’t given up on the dating site, I got a little fed up reading all those messages from pervs and invitations to dildo-clubs, threesomes or offers to become playmates for married men. So I decided to give the bar scene a little more chance.
However, charming drunk men are indeed a rare sight.
I enjoy socialising and talking to people though, both men and women, without any agenda. But if I happen to engage in a fascinating conversation with some guy, a wife or a girlfriend usually appears by his side and drags him away while attempting to kill me with her stare.
My friend has a similar story to tell. She’s living with someone but he’s not keen on going out much so I often go out with her and we have a good night on the town together – two women without a ring on their finger.
When we enter a place, we do notice the attention we get from the men in there, but it quickly drowns in the antipathy we sense from the women in there.
The single women see us as an unwelcomed competition and the others certainly have no intention of befriending us! I often feel like the unpopular contestant in The Bachelor in these circumstances. Yet, usually all we want to do is have some fun - as my friend isn’t single anyway - and not looking for men at all, especially not those who are already taken!
But it’s a strange feeling, sitting by a table in a bar or a club feeling as if you’ve got leprosy. The women totally ignore us except when they ‘accidentally’ bump quite firmly into us as they squeeze past us in the crowd, the non-single men glance at us nervously and at the most dare to give us a completely-non-flirtatious smile for a nano second, just to cheer us up a bit, before looking panicky around for the ‘supervisor’.
The single men however usually sit together in groups. A single man sitting on his own in a bar doesn’t stand a chance except perhaps, occasionally, with drunk, female versions of themselves.
But those who go around in small flocks often make sure they sit at the next table from us but are so busy being all macho and funny to their friends that they sit for way too long drinking and mustering up the courage to approach us. Still, they keep peeking at us, but look away as soon as we return their look, trying so hard to be subtle even though it’s always obvious that they've noticed us.
Men are simply hopeless at hiding their interest, just so you know.
I and my friend hardly ever have enough patience to wait for them to come over to talk to us so we stand up to leave for the next place. Then they suddenly look up with an expression of fright and regret and ask loudly ‘Oi, leavin’ already?’.
We just give them an icy smile and sail by. On our way to the door we pass a few women who can’t hide their relief when they see we’ve put our coats on and appear to be leaving on our own, just the two of us. Then they suddenly become ever so friendly, patting our shoulders and backs as they push us towards the door.
Yup, that’s usually what going out on the town means for us single girls.
