Catch twenty-something

Maybe it’s just as well that I’m not searching for a soul mate anyway. In my case the quest would be quite hopeless; I might as well give up.
I’m in my early thirties, childless, well educated, not bad looking, can take care of myself and just don’t seem to suit any of the single men I come across.

If they’re around my age, they are usually eager to have kids – maybe not right now but sometime in the future. So when I tell them that I don’t want to have children they either get lost or give me a pat on the head, saying ‘Well, you say that now’ and wink at me. That’s when I let myself disappear. It’s like talking to the wall trying to explain to them that the odds of me changing my mind are just as high as the odds of them changing theirs. It’s no rocket science, is it?

The older men, however, who have had one or two serious relationships already, been married even and had kids, are not so keen on adding more mouths to feed and have started to enjoy the less hectic daily routine that comes when the children grow older – and only live with you part-time.  Therefore they should suit me better, shouldn’t they?

But no, they are of course older and therefore think they know better than me whether I’ll change my mind about wanting to have babies or not. And because they are so much older and ‘wiser’ they never listen to my speech about the odds. So frustratingly patronising!

And even though I manage to make them consider the possibility that a woman can go without having children and still be successful and happy (name dropping Oprah Winfrey and Mother Theresa) they then can’t believe that a young, beautiful woman could possibly like them for a lengthy period. Apparently, it’s evident that I’d lose interest in a few years, they’d get older and greyer and I’d get tired of them. Yup, that’s how much self-confidence most single, middle-aged men have. And then they cannot fathom why I get offended by this reasoning of theirs! Well, thank you ever so much for considering me a brainless little bimbo!

Yes, after listening to all their praise and compliments about how intelligent and smart, clever and witty I am...deep down they just think I’m only attracted to looks and will be chasing young studs later on. They assume I’ll prefer a young, pretty-faced rogue by my side rather than an intelligent, interesting, good-natured man. Which makes me think that these men are really not as intelligent as I thought they were and the problem is solved; I make myself scarce.

The irony is of course that if I had been unfortunate enough to get accidentally impregnated long time ago, I’d have a much better chance of finding a partner now! As a single mother I’d at least have a chance at those divorced men who already have kids and don’t want any more and find some kind of assurance in having a relationship with a woman who has definitely gotten the mother instinct out of her system. Maybe they’d also think there’d be less chance of me dumping them, for safety reasons or something, not wanting to become a struggling, single mother again. What do I know?

All I know is that I’m simply in a no-win situation!