Oh, Henry!

Thankfully, Henry wasn't put off by my weird reply - which I tried to clear up immediately by texting him again, saying it was a private joke AND that I'd been half asleep.

However, he was extremely busy, it seemed, and so was I.

For more than a week we had several incidents where one of us had an opening for a quick cuppa, but the other didn't. We hadn't even started talking on the phone, only texting each other but by now, a few times a day.

I think I was trying not to get my hopes up too high by refraining from hearing his voice, because I already liked him so much without knowing what he looked like or whether there would be any chemistry between us.

But finally, we both had last Sunday afternoon free and so decided to meet at a cafe near my home. I arrived 'fashionably' late, walked to the middle of the floor and looked around, not quite sure I'd recognize Henry. All I knew was that he was tall, slim and blonde - and I saw no one looking like that in the busy cafe. 

Then I heard a deep, baritone voice saying my name, behind me. I turned around and looked into steel grey eyes, sparkling and surrounded by smile wrinkles. Henry had the most wonderful warm smile.

I sat by his table, ordered tea and we started talking. We talked and talked for over two hours, very philosophically, about everything; life, values, education, human behaviour, love.

Henry sounded incredibly wise and contemplating. He'd divorced eight years earlier and been in a four year long relationship since then. He had two teenage daughters and showed me a picture of them on his phone. He had this distinctive, comfortable presence, very warm and serene.

And he was very honest. He told me he was a recovering alcoholic, had joined Alcoholics Anonymous a year ago, when he'd hit the bottom hard, e.g. lost his drivers license for life.

Had he told me that when we were still only messaging each other, I'd have stopped thinking about him there and then. Not that I don't socialize with recovering alcoholics or have anything against them, but I would have been scared of trying to date one, too much risk.

But, after having spent two hours with him, I didn't care. I didn't care either that he's a smoker, a vice I'd otherwise find a total turn-off. Nope, I didn't care at all, I only wanted to get to know him better and be in his presence for as long as I possibly could. When we had to part, after almost three hours, I was saddened.

I walked him to his bus stop and we agreed we definitely wanted to see each other again, then he winked at me and jumped aboard the bus.

I didn't walk home, because my feet couldn't touch the ground. I was floating. What a man!

The Art of Waiting

Right.

So he didn't reply that day. Not in the evening either. Even though I stayed up late to monitor both my phone and Henry's Facebook page. And there was no reply when I eagerly checked my phone as soon as I woke up.

Twenty-four hours passed and I heard nothing from Henry. He hadn't been on Facebook either. After work, I dropped in at my friend Alice's and showed her my empty Inbox. Alice, with all her experience of text messaging impossible, obnoxious men, instantly asked: 'Do you not have the Delivery Report setting switched on?' What bl**** setting?

So no, I didn't and therefore couldn't be absolutely sure that the message had in fact reached Henry. But come on, why shouldn't it have, I asked Alice. Does anyone turn off their mobile phones these days, for 24 hours straight? Hardly. And being a busy, freelance camera man, he probably recharges his phone religiously.

'Maybe he's traveling?' Alice suggested, always ready to find explanations (read: excuses) for men not keeping in touch. I explained to her how, in these times, he'd have to be on either one of the Poles, climbing Everest or something equally extreme in such an exotic place that it wouldn't have phone reception, and that he would definitely have mentioned if he was packing for such an adventure when I last heard from him. Besides, he had commitments at a film school where he was tutoring once a week.

No, Henry was probably just yet another immature middle-aged man who panicked as soon as he faced any sort of confrontation and came to the utterly stupid conclusion that the most successful response was to play dead.

Ah, well. Good to know that before I even saw him! It would be hard day dreaming about the one-who-got-away with his face missing. And no more time would be wasted checking his Facebook page every ten minutes. Alice and I started joking around, making up excuses for Henry not to reply.

The winner was: 'He accidentally chopped off all his fingers while making firewood for his elderly mother...who lives in an old, damp cottage...in...Effushire!' We thought we were hilarious.

Eventually, I dragged myself home, way too late and just managed to spit out the toothpaste before my head hit the pillow.

And sure enough, what seemed to be only a few moments later, my mobile phone beeped. I reached for it and saw that it was almost midnight. And there it was, only 36 hours later, a reply from Henry: 'Yes, I'd love to see you in person! Am out of town working on a project right not, but lets find time soon. :)'

I laid back on the pillow and smiled. Despite being almost too tired to type, I replied and stuck my phone under the pillow before going back to sleep.

As I was drifting away again, my consciousness kicked in. A gnawing feeling made me suddenly wide awake and I swiftly sat up in the bed. What the hell had I written in that text???

I grabbed the phone and checked my Sent Messages as my heart pounded in my chest.
'Oh, good! You didn't chop off all your fingers then!'

Nice.One.

Five Stars

The verdict was in five days later. According to Alice's friend, Henry is 'smart, funny and a good person. A 5 star guy.' However, she didn't know what his situation is, whether he has a girlfriend or not.

'Just ask him already!' Alice added.

I thought about it long and hard. At least he wasn't married for twenty years or anything. So, if I were to ask him out, nobody could blame me for not knowing if he was in fact living with someone or dating, how was I suppose to know if he didn't 'advertise' it on Facebook. Or hadn't told me, even though our messaging had been short and not personal. If I asked him out, he would simply be forced to tell me the truth about his circumstances and then I'd know. And he would be flattered, as he should be.

But I noticed that he hadn't been active on Facebook this past week. Nothing had happened on his page, he hadn't liked anything or replied to comments. I thought of the whole year that had passed between him joining Facebook and becoming active enough to reply to my message and suddenly got scared that he had lost interest in Facebook and wouldn't log on for months again! OMG how could he do that, just leave me hanging without knowing what he even looked like! And no way of contacting him ever again.

Oh wait, his mobile number was listed on his Facebook Info page.

So, fueled by the fear that he wouldn't log on to Facebook till next year, and that by then, some cow would have snatched him from me and gotten herself pregnant and everything...I texted him.

'Hey, it's Me. Would you perhaps like to see me in real life sometime soon?'

What a Small World

It turns out, Henry was intrigued too. At least he took a close look at my Facebook page and started pointing out things that he liked or we had in common.

Like, a few of my top ten favourite films are also his and thereof, The Sting, is one of the reasons he decided to go into movie making. Yes, he's a movie maker, a director and cameraman. And once we started chatting about our jobs, we realised that our paths had crossed at least twice! Although we couldn't quite remember each other.

Of course, I still had no idea what he looked like but still, couldn't remember talking to a blond cameraman that time we were definitely in the same place at the same time. And he didn't recall having talked to me, although he did vaguely remember a journalist with big, fuzzy hair visiting the film location where he was working at that time.

I'm not terribly superstitious but I am open to letting the Universe take its course and try looking out for its signals. Henry and I had been at the same place at least twice and now, because of a little Facebook mishandling, we had contacted each other. Is that coincidence or the Universe desperately trying to make the horse drink after leading it to the effin lake?

Henry's e-mails were always interesting and witty, he's very good with words, I must say. I have of course Googled him to bits but to no avail, he seems to avoid having his photo taken! I came up with a couple of small images with him all blurred at a distance, or wearing a large, hooded parka (as freezing cameramen do) so all I know is that he's slim, tall and blond. And I'm getting so excited, I check my Inbox as soon as I see there's a new message, eagerly waiting for his next reply.

So, when out at lunch with my friends Alice and Sophie this weekend, I asked them whether it wasn't weird getting so excited about a total stranger, who I don't even know what looks like. The pair of them are hopeless romantics, poor sods, so they both shouted 'No!' and got even more excited than me. But to be honest, I don't even know that much about him, his Facebook profile doesn't reveal much and I haven't managed to pry about his personal life through our short Facebook conversations. He might as well be married with five kids for all I know!

I told my friends that, before they'd start planning my wedding. And then I told them his name. That's when Alice almost choked on her chicken salad. She recognized the name; his last name is quite unique and she had made a note of it a few days ago, noticing he had commented on Alice's friend's Facebook page. Yes, complicated and far-fetched but yet so convenient. Alice and Henry have a mutual friend!

So, now I'm waiting to hear what Alice will find out after talking to her friend. Patience.

The Blurry Guy

Eddie did text me every now and again for the next couple of weeks, usually something like "Whats up?" or "Goin out tonite?", and I replied politely each time.

And even though I was still contemplating meeting up with him again, I just couldn't bring myself to it. Especially after I got distracted. By Henry.

Yes, one day, I received a message to my Inbox on Facebook. It was a reply from someone named Henry to a message I had sent him a year ago! At first I was really puzzled and thought that a) Facebook had gotten its wires crossed, b) someone had hacked my account, c) I was going crazy.

After a while though, I vaguely remembered how this correspondence had been initiated. About a year ago, I was at home, sick with the flu and it just went on an on and on so out of utter boredom one day, after having watched every YouTube video in the universe, I started scouting for new Facebook friends. I went through my friends' friend lists and the 'People You May Know' recommended by Facebook, usually people in the area.

I sent out a few friend requests and messages to people I thought I might know. Amongst them was Henry, who had only recently joined Facebook at that time, didn't have much information on display and no profile pic. Still, because of his last name I thought that perhaps he was this guy I knew at Uni. So I sent him a message with a private joke that only the real Henry would understand and know how to reply: 'Hey, is this Henry, 'my dead brother'? ;)'

Then I completely forgot about him. Until 12 months later I received an answer: 'Nope, still alive, are you my sister?' Which was the wrong reply so obviously he wasn't the Henry I thought he was. By now this guy had uploaded a profile pic but it was a blurry, fish-eye photo and all I could see was that the guy was blonde, unlike the other Henry.

I still replied to him, saying I had obviously mistaken him for somebody else '...but kudos for the quick response! :)'

It wasn't long till he replied again: 'Thank you, I didn't want to write something in a haste!'

Funny guy. So I wrote something witty back, and he instantly replied. And then I added him as a friend and he accepted. Only, he doesn't have any other photos of himself apart from the profile pic, so I still have no idea what he looks like. We kept exchanging short messages and Henry proved to be very witty and satiric. And good with words.

I was intrigued.

The Boy

What I forgot to mention last time was that just before I fell asleep that night, I did text that young man, just to tell him I was home safe and sound.

By doing so, of course, I was also giving him my number. Which he used to reply the next day, apologizing for having been so drunk and asking whether he'd said something inappropriate. I assured him he hadn't so he replied again to ask if we could meet up again.

I didn't know quite how to react, I hadn't been that intrigued on our firs encounter and felt as if I should take a breathing pause after Carl, even though I wasn't exactly heart broken. But then I reminded myself to keep an open mind and not only look for fireworks and excitement, i.e. not base my entire judgement on first impression only.

So I told him, truthfully, that I was going to the theatre with my friend (Hannah) that very evening and afterwards, we'd probably pop in somewhere for a drink or two. If he were on his way out that evening too, he'd be welcome to stop by.

That way, the ball was in his court completely and if he showed up I would get the chance to check him out properly. It would also be great to get a second opinion from Hannah. If he didn't show up, I'd still have a great night and need never to think about him again.

However, he did text me and ask which bar we were at...and then showed up. His mates were at another place, he had left them to come and see me. I thought that was sweet.  His name was Eddie and he was a cook. We chatted for a few minutes and I could see Hannah watching his every move and listening to his every word to collect data for her final ruling. 

Eddie turned out to be quite an agreeable young man, the crucial word here being 'young'. Even though he didn't sound extremely boyish, I was pretty sure he was no more than 25. So I curiously asked him how old he thought I was?
He grinned triumphantly and replied with the exact correct answer. My reaction was to become slightly offended, as a lady would but also because usually people think I'm much younger than I am. The incredibly vain me thought frantically 'OMG are my looks fading so quickly?' but before I started to scream, Eddie continued by reciting the short version of my bio. Yes, he had Googled me.

This time I didn't know whether to be flattered or scared. It's nice to know that someone's interested enough to look you up on the Internet...but it would be more classy if he had kept it to himself. As we, girls, do all the time!

So, he already knew that I was exactly ten years his senior. And that didn't stop him. How sweet!

A few moments later, he decided to go to the other bar and get his friends to come over. Me and Hannah looked at each other when he'd left and she nodded agreeingly, ruling that he did in fact make a good impression. And I'm sure she found it added weight that there was no chance in hell he had dated her aunt at some point.

Half an hour later, Eddie turned up with three of his mates. They'd obviously been passing time by drinking while we had done more talking than drinking. So they were...rather upbeat, to say the least. They were loud, goofy and, well, funny, to some extent although I think I recall hearing a fart joke. Yes.
And Eddie? He thought they were funny too. So suddenly, Hannah and I had a group of loud, crude, young adults by our table. We smiled politely at the boys and made our excuses, we couldn't stay out late on a Thursday night as we both had to get up early for work. 

I could just hear how terribly grown up we sounded, but didn't care at this point. Any ideas I might have had about taking a young lover seemed as silly now as the jokes those little boys were cracking as we left the bar.